How to Manage an Employee with Depression Without Crossing Personal Boundaries: Expert Advice

ITExpert team03.12.2025

When a teammate is going through depression, it’s often the manager who notices first. But how can you support a person without violating personal boundaries? When is it right to step in? And where is the fine line between concern and pressure?

We’ve compiled practical advice from coaches, HR directors, and psychologists to help you act delicately and respectfully.

Depression and Work: Tips for Managers

Natalia Tachynska

leadership coach and consultant, certified HOGAN assessor

A manager noticed signs of depression in an employee: how to talk about it?

“The manager has the right to ask, but it is important not to diagnose on your own or apply labels. It is worth sharing your observations in a feedback format (using the “What the Camera Sees” method from nonviolent communication or constructive feedback approaches). For example:

‘I’ve noticed that you’ve been behaving differently lately, and it’s affected the team’s results [mentioning specific cases and the impact of the employee’s actions]. If you’d like, let’s discuss it at a meeting or over lunch. Maybe we can adapt how we work together for a while to match your current pace.’”

When working with a professional in depression, it’s vital to stay in an Adult-to-Adult communication — not slip into a parental role. Invite them into the conversation and:

Make needs explicit: both the company’s and the employee’s.
Agree on actions: what can be adjusted in workflows, what steps the teammate will take to regain balance, and how often you’ll connect to track progress.
Set boundaries: talk about resource and time constraints.

The leader’s role here doesn’t mean rescue, therapy, or emotional involvement. It’s to create conditions where the specialist can stabilize and recover. What can help?

A transparent action protocol that both the manager and the team are aware of and follow.
Regular check-in meetings to track overall well-being.
Adaptation of schedules and workload when needed.
Additional leave.
A mentorship program led by more experienced colleagues.
Anonymous psychological support — either through internal programs or via partnerships with professional institutions.
Manager training: how to spot the signs and stages of depression, and how to communicate effectively.
Team training on destigmatizing mental health.

Is it okay to fire someone if their performance has declined due to depression?

“It depends on how much effort and time both sides — the employee and the company — have invested to handle the situation. Rushed decisions are definitely not ethical and can damage the company’s reputation if it’s seen as firing someone prematurely because of depression.

However, if you’ve clearly discussed needs and expectations, set timeframes upfront (such as a six-month recovery plan), held regular check-ins, adjusted the roadmap, and the deadline has passed, then it’s acceptable. Businesses also don’t have infinite resources. Sometimes it’s necessary to prepare for a pause in collaboration, or even its conclusion.

At the same time, on a human-to-human level, it’s crucial to ensure a respectful farewell. Check-ins should make it clear when a situation is approaching closure — that way, the person has time to prepare for a period without work.”

According to Natalia, the strongest leaders are those who support people not only during growth, but also through crisis. If an employee is valuable to you — as both a person and a professional — it’s worth learning how to stand by them in tough times. In parallel, leaders must not forget about their own resources and boundaries.

Tetiana Sendetska

Head of Training & Development at OTP Bank, psychologist, team and business coach

A manager noticed signs of depression in an employee: how to talk about it?

“I’m convinced that we live in a time when employers shouldn’t just ask questions but actively build a company culture rooted in humanity, trust, and empathy. A culture where people feel safe to talk about their state of mind — and know they’ll be met with understanding and support. Taking care of people is the new hygiene standard of our era.”

A manager facing a teammate’s depressive state should:

Voice what you see. Let the person know you’ve noticed changes in their emotional state. Sometimes just acknowledging it, without ignoring, already signals care and value.
Drop the hero mask and stop trying to “save” someone. That’s a trap, and it risks crossing the employee’s personal boundaries. Instead, ask whether they need help, and if they do, offer it in a respectful, non-intrusive way.

Important: Not everyone will be ready to open up and build an action plan right away. Give them time and space — don’t roll out a pre-built action plan without their green light.

Be a stable node. Let your teammate feel they’ve got backup. But don’t over-promise support you can’t deliver.

Is it okay to fire someone if their performance has declined due to depression?

“There’s no one-liner answer. On one side of the scale is a person’s life; on the other, the company’s trajectory. So let’s wish ourselves the wisdom and compassion to guide every such decision.”

Anna Kunakova

Soft Skills Trainer at Savvy L&D Solution, former HRD at Dreamate

A manager noticed signs of depression in an employee: how to talk about it?

“An employer has no legal right to ask about a diagnosis or mental state directly — this is a matter of confidential medical information. But they absolutely have the right, and in fact the responsibility, to express concern if they notice an employee’s behavior shifting or their energy visibly dropping.

It’s also worth noting that what looks like depression isn’t always depression. The same markers could also indicate iron deficiency, thyroid issues, or other underlying conditions.

That’s why the safest path is to frame the question gently, grounded in your own observations — without assumptions or labels. Something like: ‘I’ve noticed you seem more tired than usual, or that you’re less engaged with the team. Is there anything I can do to support you?’”

Anna emphasizes that a manager’s actions should depend on the context: how severe the condition seems, whether the person has sought help, and how their state is affecting both performance and engagement with the team. If a teammate openly shares that they’re dealing with depression, that opens the door to practical adjustments — a flexible schedule, additional vacation, remote work options, or delegating part of their workload.

What else can be done, according to the expert:

Remind them about the possibility of consulting with a psychologist or psychiatrist, if the company provides this as a benefit. Do it delicately, with full respect for boundaries: “If you’d like, we have contacts for specialists — happy to share them.”
Offer support. That might mean more frequent one-on-ones, actively recognizing their team contributions and results, or simply asking sincerely what would help.
Create an atmosphere of trust, where people feel safe enough to admit vulnerability and share something painful without fearing judgment. It emerges from mature management, leaders who invest in self-development, and often a personal example of self-care and openness.
Run regular Team Health Checks. Once a month, each team member completes a brief pulse survey to assess their well-being. In Anna’s experience, this helps to keep track of things and communicate with teammates.

Anna has also helped design and lead workshops and webinars on mental health, stress management, resilience, and resource groups. The latter is a kind of psycho-education format — teaching people how to read their own state, recover, and support each other. This is especially valuable for managers, who need to recognize red flags and know how to talk about them without causing harm.

Is it okay to fire someone if their performance has declined due to depression?

“Performance issues aren’t always tied to depression. And even when depression is part of the picture, it doesn’t automatically mean dismissal. Moreover, if a person is undergoing treatment and receiving support, their condition may not even be evident in their output.

But if depression really is dragging down results, the first step is a respectful conversation — laying out the situation, exploring solutions, and agreeing on regular check-ups. If you’ve done all of that, provided support, and there’s still no long-term improvement, then yes — it may be time to raise the question of parting ways. But even then, it should be handled cleanly, transparently, and humanely — with respect for the person and their state of health.”

Tetiana Diahil

ICF-certified business coach, career consultant, and human resources director at Spell Chocolate

A manager noticed signs of depression in an employee: how to talk about it?

“I’d suggest approaching such a sensitive topic about someone’s emotional and mental well-being with broad, open-ended questions. It would be best if the manager used coaching questions during one-on-one meetings. They may sound like this:

‘I’ve noticed you seem a bit down and that it’s been harder for you to keep up with your tasks. Is there any way I can help? How can I support you?”

This softer approach doesn’t cross personal boundaries and makes the employee feel safe when talking with their manager.”

To show empathy and help, apply the 3-Go rule:

Go Flexible: Adapt the conditions, pace, and goals to the specific situation, balancing them with the overall business goals or those of a separate unit. Sometimes it makes sense to reassign someone to another project.
Go Mindful: Emphasize that the person’s condition has been noticed, and you, as a manager, are not indifferent.
Go Accessible: Show your willingness to listen and help find solutions to the crisis.

Tetiana also shared her experience implementing a corporate-level sabbatical policy, which includes unpaid leave of up to three months with retention of the job and key working conditions. This allowed several employees to safely step back from daily operations and focus on their health.

Other initiatives companies can introduce:

Mental Health sick leaves — for example, up to three working days without a doctor’s note.
Flexible work schedule.
Corporate psychological assistance service.
Health insurance covering psychological therapy and rehabilitation.
A veteran reintegration program.
Educational and informational events with invited coaches and psychologists.

Tetiana also helped organize Mental Health Days, which included events and discussions on psychological well-being during wartime.

Is it okay to fire someone if their performance has declined due to depression?

“This is a tricky ethical question, and there’s no one-size-fits-all action protocol.

From my own experience, before making such a decision, it is essential to review all the previous ones. In other words, analyze:

Have all support resources been tried?
Has communication been clear and transparent? Was flexibility offered?
Do you have a long-term outlook on the situation?

If someone can’t perform core functions for an extended period and the team is burning out by compensating for their workload, then ending cooperation can also be a form of respect for everyone. Of course, it should be handled with fair wording and proper compensation in line with company policies.”

What NOT to do when an employee is struggling with depression: checklist

Talking about depression is hard. Being present without making things worse is even harder — even with the best intentions to help. Together with experts, we’ve pulled an anti-checklist so you can double-check yourself before starting the conversation:

Don’t make your own diagnoses. Even if you’ve read up on psychology, it doesn’t give you the right to diagnose or suggest medication. Your role is not to replace the doctor.
Don’t share without consent. No matter how “caring” it may feel, don’t talk about their situation with colleagues or leadership unless they’ve agreed.
Don’t minimize what they’re going through. Phrases like “everyone goes through this,” “you just need some sleep,” or “pull yourself together” only exacerbate the isolation. Respect for others’ experiences is the basic level of empathy.
Don’t judge their state. It’s not your role to analyze “how serious” it is or “how it looks from the outside.” This isn’t your competence. A person has the right to their condition without judgment.
Don’t compare, not to their past self, not to coworkers, not to your own story. Every case is unique, and comparisons can deepen the struggle.
Don’t generalize. What worked for one person won’t necessarily work for another. Avoid advice like “you definitely need to exercise” or “it helped me — it will help you too.”
Don’t react with irritation. Apathy signs or behavior changes can be irritating in a fast-moving team. But this is not a reason to raise your voice or put pressure.
Don’t over-parent. Your role is to support within professional limits, not to become their therapist, “savior,” or emotional support. This is not good for you or the other person. You can provide a safe space and show you’re there — but the responsibility ultimately remains with them.

And one last thing: don’t assume you know what’s really happening. Even strong empathy doesn’t give you the whole picture. It’s better to ask than to guess — and better to offer stability than to jump straight to solutions.